Tact

We had a busy weekend. We all went to Austin on Saturday for a birthday party and Peanut had a fantastic time playing in the pool with me.

Sunday, I worked on fixing part of our sprinkler system (woo hoo, look at The Bridegroom all high class with his sprinkler system...but it's a really ghetto system, so shut up already.) and later in the afternoon, Juice and I went to see "Our Body: The Universe Within" at the Witte museum, with Chica and The Mann.

We'd been talking about going for a long time, but just never got around to it. This past weekend was the final weekend the exhibit was open, so we decided we'd better not miss out on the opportunity. Juice wasn't sure how she would stomach it, and we decided not to take Peanut just because we couldn't imagine trying to contain her while trying to take in the whole exhibit.

We originally wanted to go at 3, and even buying tickets online proved to be difficult, as most of the time slots were sold out. We settled on 5, then dropped Peanut off at her uncle's house and away we went.

The line was very long just to get into the museum because everyone was waiting to buy tickets for the exhibit. Since we bought ours online, we bypassed the line and went right in.

I had a pretty good idea of what the exhibit would be like since I'd seen plenty of pictures when it first hit the US. I'm wondering, though, about all of the other people who went in.

Here's the thing. The entire exhibit is very dark, with spotlights on the bodies. There is quiet music playing throughout, and the whole thing is very low key.

And yet, there are the morons without any sense of tact, or respect, or awe for the science behind it all. The ADULTS who crack jokes because you can see a penis on a dead body, or get up close and personal with the plasticized remains of a woman's reproductive organs. The exhibit didn't make me sick, the people walking through it did.

Now, to be fair, most of the people there were very respectful, but it seems that the lowest common denominator is the one you remember, and is the one that ruins the experience.

I can understand 8th graders giggling at some of the things, but adults? If you're not mature enough to go in, DON'T GO IN!

The Rules

There are certain rules that one should follow when driving in Texas, and I actually think they're rules that everyone should follow, everywhere, but when I first moved here, I actually read about these rules somewhere (can't remember the book now) and I still follow them diligently.

1) If you're going slower than the flow of traffic, get over. Even if you're going faster than the flow of traffic, if someone comes up on you hells bells, it's still polite to pull over a lane and let them pass. This applies to two lane highways as well. Many two lane roads in Texas have wide shoulders with plenty of room to drive on, and I've seen many folks pull off and drive on the shoulder to let a faster car past them. As the sign says, "Don't slow Texas down!"

2) If someone pulls over and lets you pass, give them a little wave to let them know you appreciate their kindness. If someone lets you into traffic, the same wave rule applies.

That's it. Two simple rules that make driving so much more friendly. If only everyone who moved to Texas was given those rules, we'd be a lot happier place.

It seemed to me that when I first moved here, almost everyone followed those rules. Twelve years later, it seems like there's more people who don't than do. Everyone is too busy talking on their phones to give even a little courtesy, and it's too bad. It's going to lead to a lot of road rage.

And yes, Dave, I make sure that when I'm going slower than everyone else, I keep my happy ass in the right lane (and that is NOT my car Dave snapped a picture of).

More bang for your buck

I was pretty impressed last year when I managed to squeeze 500 miles out of a tank of gas, and now that gas is nearing $4 a gallon, it's ever more important for me to try to squeeze every mile I can out of every gallon in my tank.

My 07 Altima is EPA estimated to get 35 MPG on the highway, but I have never achieved that kind of mileage. Not even close. In fact, the best I've ever done is right at 29 MPG, and that was when we drove up to Illinois, all on the highway.

I decided a couple of weeks ago that I'd try a little experiment. It was actually an experiment I tried when I owned a truck, too, but gas wasn't so expensive then, so after one tank of my experiment, I decided to just go back to my old driving (bad) habits.

So the experiment is this - keep the RPMs under 2000, except when I'm at cruising speed on the highway. Then, it's under 2500. Since my Altima has a running MPG gauge (sort of like a speedometer, but for gas mileage), I keep a close watch on that as well.

I've been driving more carefully, but also more slowly, which has helped reduce my stress level on the drive to and from work. I don't tailgate. I'm spending more time in the right lane. I throw the car into neutral when I'm going downhill or if I'm coming up to a stale green/red light. I don't punch the gas as soon as the light turns green, and most importantly, I've stopped racing everyone.

Maybe it's my old age getting to me (along with the price of gas), but really has made my commute much nicer. I can concentrate more on the music on the radio because I'm not always looking for that break in the cars to punch through.

But Bridegroom, you say, doesn't that cost you precious time with your family? Yeah, it does. About 2-3 minutes every day. And really, that 2-3 minutes is made up for by the fact that I'm not frazzled by traffic when I get home, and I'm not paying as much for gas anymore because I'm getting better mileage out of my car.

How about that mileage, anyway?

I just filled up yesterday and I had 554 miles on that tank of gas. That's 39 miles better than the tank last week (513 miles), and over 70 miles better than my typical tank of gas over the past year. The pump stopped at 17.2 gallons (I have a 20 gallon tank), meaning that I got over 32 miles per gallon on that tank of gas. That's 4 miles per gallon better than my typical tank for the past year. That's a 14% increase in mileage just by changing the way I drive! That's one extra day of driving to and from work for me.

Imagine what would happen if EVERYONE changed the way they drove. If demand for gasoline dropped by 14% nationwide?! I'm not saying that the oil companies would lower prices, because they really seem to enjoy bending the American public over and fucking them in the ass, but at least we could give them a hit where it counts...in the wallet! Combine that 14% with the reduced travel that we're seeing now, and it might actually make a difference.

Of course, not everyone is going to do that. But at least I'm trying to do my part. When they come out with a hybrid that I can fit my 6'5" frame into, I'll gladly buy one. Until then, my driving habits will remain firmly entrenched in "old fogey" mode, because it's saving me money.

Here, there, and everywhere

I have a lot of things floating around in my head today, and I really want to write a post about how some of the folks I work with are babying their kids to death, but I don't have a clear and concise argument formed, and I don't want to look like a fool when I write, so I'll just tell you about our weekend instead.

We had a very rare, beautiful mid-May day on Saturday. Temperatures were in the mid to upper 70's most of the day, and we decided to take Peanut to the San Antonio Botanical Gardens to take pictures of her for her birthday invitation.

The mind of a two year old must be a glorious place. I don't remember quite that far back, so I can't tell you from my personal experiences, but just watching Peanut look at everything around her and watching her making connections in her brain is so much fun. She's learning something new almost every day, multiple times a day, and I'm glad I get to be such a big part of it.

I can't fathom the idea of single parenthood, and I can't imagine someone not wanting to be a part of their child's life. I also can't imagine what it might be like if we had Peanut at another day care, because I give a lot of credit to the woman who watches her for teaching her so much.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing anyone for putting their kid in day care, because we had to do it too, but we were very lucky to find someone who only has a few kids, so Peanut get a lot of attention every single day. I think that's part of the reason she learns so much so fast...I just don't know what it would be like if she was in a day care with a lot more kids - what habits would she pick up on, would she have as much adult interaction?

Her personality is amazing, if not a bit stubborn, as was evident by our trip to the botanical gardens. She would not sit still for a picture, and wanted to keep moving, and keep seeing new things. She wanted to play in every water feature we came across, which gives me hope that she hasn't forgotten how much she liked swimming last summer. She loved looking at all the flowers and birds and bugs, and I can't wait to take her back. I can't wait to take her to the zoo again, either, now that she understands so much more about the different animals.

By the way, we went the whole week without a major meltdown...a few minor ones here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary. Looks like this communication thing is really paying off.

Can you tell how much I love my kid?

Terrible

Holy crap. I've heard about the "terrible twos" but I really never thought I'd experience them for myself. Peanut has been such a good child, sleeping through the night at an early age, not being too shy and clingy, and then, two weeks ago: POW! This new child appeared.

She was not the daughter I'd grown to love over the last two years. She was whiny, moody, throwing hysterical screaming fits over the smallest things. She was like a teenager.

For two weeks, we've been having at least one, and usually two or three major meltdowns each day. In the morning when she gets up, it's that she doesn't like what we give her to eat, or doesn't want to get dressed or doesn't want to brush her teeth.

In the evening, she doesn't want to come inside, she doesn't want to go get the mail with me, or we'll get halfway to the mailbox and she wants me to pick her up. She's finished eating and wants to get down, she wants to watch Bob the Builder, she throws something and won't pick it up, and on and on and on.

Juice and I are both about to lose our shit.

Then last week, I consulted the Internet because why would I consult an expert when I can look at a few web pages. One of the suggestions was that Peanut is frustrated because she's understanding more and more, but is still not able to adequately communicate with us what she wants and needs. The other part of that is that we should be communicating with her about what we're going to do and what our expectations are instead of just suddenly saying, "OK, it's bedtime."

So we've been communicating with our daughter. Not that we didn't communicate with her before, but now we sit and really listen to her and talk to her about what's going to happen in the next 5-30 minutes so she can be prepared in her mind for any changes, as well as telling us that she understands what's going to happen.

The last two days have been tantrum-free (knock on wood).

Burned

We had an interesting evening.

The main building at Our Lady of the Lake University caught fire last night.



Juice, Chica, and The Mann are all alumni, so it was pretty emotional around our house. Juice just kept staring at the TV with this look of devastation on her face.

It's a small university, only a couple thousand students, so it's a close knit community of graduates, and to see a building that's been the center of the university for over 100 years go up in flames was hard to handle.

When The Mann worked at OLLU, he took us up on the roof of that building, and inside the cone-shaped spire (the one that's still standing - the one to the right of the entrance collapsed last night), and inside that spire was graffiti from over the past 100 years. It was pretty cool to see, and it's a shame that part of that history has now gone up in flames.



Juice and I were married in the chapel to the left of the main (burned) building. Thankfully, it was not damaged by the flames.

It appears that the top floor was where the fire started, and the other three floors didn't appear to sustain any major fire damage. There weren't any flames coming out of the other floors last night, so hopefully, a large portion of the building is still intact.

Smells like...

Isn't it funny where a scent can take you?

I walked out of work this morning to walk across the street to the high school and was hit smack in the face with this sticky sweet smell that immediately transported me back in time to when I was detasseling corn in the middle of a sweltering field, the sun beating down on my back and girls in bikini tops in the rows next to me.

Then it was off to my parent's house, the house I did most of my growing up in, and the corn field across the street.

Every summer, without fail, I would smell that smell. The heavy, humid midwestern air was thick with it.

I have no idea where the smell came from today, because there aren't any corn fields anywhere near where I work. Maybe some other pollinator has the same type of smell.

It was strange to be transported to July at the beginning of May, though.

Isn't it ironic?

Funny how I posted this just a month ago:

I'm at the point now where I am thinking about looking for another job. It's not that I dislike where I work, because I don't, but this one person is making life difficult for me and there's nothing I can do about it.

My colleagues think I would make a good boss, but our current boss isn't ready to retire yet. The people at my last job thought I'd be a good boss too, but I didn't get the job when I interviewed for Assistant Director. I'm just tired of being ready to take the reins but not having reins to take.

It's been an emotional roller coaster this week. On Tuesday night as Juice and I talked, I went from "no I'm not going to take the job" to "yes, I'm taking the job" about every 30 minutes or so. Even after sleeping on it, I still wasn't sure. I guess I had made up my mind to not take it if they weren't going to budge on the salary, but I held out hope until the bitter end that they would.

Here's the thing. If I'm truly the guy for the job, if I'm the best candidate and you're excited about the prospect of me working there, why offer my the advertised minimum? That was a new one for me. Every administrative position I've been offered had an advertised salary range (which is usually the low end to the midpoint) and I've never been offered the minimum amount.

Even though they said that they weren't trying to lowball anyone, I felt like they were. Of course, I did my homework, and the amount they offered me was in line with other school district that size, but still. Be willing to move a little, or offer me some other incentives that don't show up on a salary sheet - pay for more of my insurance, pay into my 401K...anything. But it wasn't there. To me, that was my 'bad feeling' coming to light. I always felt like there was something just not right, and if a place says they really want you, but they aren't willing to show you in anything other than words, well, then, it's just lip service.

My boss actually went to bat for me Wednesday morning and got me a raise that will go into effect before the end of this year, meaning that I'll get a 4% raise on top of my new raise, if that makes any sense. That shows me how much this district values my services.

This extra money, combined with the raise, pretty much made my mind up. If they had been offering 8-9K more, I probably would have gone, but they didn't, and all I can say is that it's their loss. I would have done a great job in that district, and I would have made a big difference. But I'll continue making a difference at my current job where I know I have the flexibility to leave when I need to take care of my family.

While it's very flattering to have people fighting over your services, it's very stressful as well. At least I know now that I have the ability to get a job as a director if I want to, and I learned a lot about how I've changed as a person in the last four years. It's no longer all about the job and the status. It's about being happy and satisfied with what I do, and not putting undue stress on Juice and Peanut.

I am ready to be the boss, but what I've found out through this whole process is that I'm willing to wait for the right job to come along. I am appreciated where I am, and I can't let the little things I have no control over get to me. Because they're little things. And I have bigger fish to fry.