Un-nerved

Our good friend Chica was at an ACTS retreat this weekend. I don't know much about it, other than it's a weekend of soul searching and getting closer to God.

As part of the retreat, family and friends are invited to a thing called "candle light" Which is basically a ceremony for the people in the retreat to see the people who really care for them and love them, and a chance for those family and friends to pray for the people in the retreat.

We decided to tag along with The Mann and a few other friends to show support for Chica. She was taking part in this retreat the same week as her final chemo treatment, so this whole thing was a big deal for her.

We got there early because we heard it would probably be packed, and as we walked in we were greeted with guitar music. There was a trio playing guitar at the front of the room, rather enthusiastically.

As people started to file in, the room started to get warm, despite being in the mid-50's outside. As it got more packed, it got more warm, and things started getting weird.

The guy playing lead guitar (all acoustic by the way), started talking into his Madonna/Brittney style boom mic, but all we could hear was "wah wah wah wah wah wah" ala Charlie Brown's teacher. On top of that, he was trying to talk over a room full of people who were, in turn, talking to each other, which made it hard to even hear the wah wahs. Add to that the bevy of percussion instruments they were handing out to the children who attended (we did not take Peanut because this thing started after her bedtime) and it became a complete sensory overload.

Once the ceremony started, we were told that we'd basically be singing and praying until the retreatants (who had no idea that any of this was going on) came into the room. And here's the thing. I don't mind singing and praying for someone, but I'd really like them to be there for it. The whole idea was to show how much we cared for these people we were there for, but more than half of the ceremony, they weren't even in the room.

When word finally came that they were indeed on their way, was started into this two line song which repeated over and over and over and over until the retreatants came into the room. We must've sang that song 60 times if we sang it once.

Around the 30th time of repeating it, people's fake candles waving back and forth, I startted to wonder if there actually was a reatreat, or if this was some elaborate brain-washing scheme. As it got warmer, I became more delirious, wondering if maybe they were going to force us all to drink Kool-Aid or turn on the gas. Cult like chanting and singing do not sit well with me.

See, I was brought up to believe that church is a quiet place. A place where you can reflect on your thoughs and actions, and this was nothing like that. I couldn't even hear myself think.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour singing the same two lines over and over, the people we came to see finally entered the room. In the end, it was great to see Chica so happy to see all of us. I hope that the retreat gave her the strength and serenity she needed to face everything that's ahead of her. I just don't think I'll be doing anything like that again anytime soon.